1730: Celebrity Big Brother ∞ - The housemates spend their last day together before the weekend, when one of them will probably get a bit drunk and throw up in the garden.
1830: Celebrity Big Brother Little Bother - Celebrities who are still actively employed by the television industry sit around and bitch about ones who aren't when they are out of ear shot.
1900: Evening News/Update on Big Brother Race riot
1950: Apology for Big Brother race riot
2000: Phone in poll to see if you forgive Big Brother for the race riot - Phonelines are £3 a minute and permission of the line owner must be asked.
2010: CBB∞ Analysis - Psychologists analysise and explain the housemates behaviour, presumably because they have nothing better to do with their life.
2100: Celebrity Big Brother ∞ Live - We find out who is nominated for eviction, not only from the house but also from civilised society. Labourious pauses guaranteed.
2200: Justin Lee Collins' Tit About! - Justin Lee Collins tits about.
2300: Celebrity Big Brother ∞ Results - Someone is evicted out of a tired sense of inevitibility.
0000: CBB∞ Highlights - Dear god when will it end, will mankind not just rise up aga..gda.s.....they are taking me awa.! 23&s9
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