Daveja vu: Short Term Memory loss Night

1900: Whose Line is it Anyway?
Documentary about cocaine usage in the television and advertising industry.

1930: Ad Liberation
Improvisation comedy show from years gone by, now repeated because it has been off air for so long that those who saw its initial broadcast are either mad or dead.

2000: DRIVING!
Highlights of the Welsh rallying championship, which when you think about it is pretty much a repeat.

2100: Light hearted whimsical news ‘O Clock
Scripted comedy panel show. Series 49 of 307. An amiable repeat of a classic episode in which the regular and guest comedians go over topical news stories from the year stardate 17328.9

2140: Never mind the music quiz, let’s make jokes!
Two resident captains in increasing states of apathy are joined by guests who haven’t really done much in recent years and tackle some questions about the music industry trying to flog every last second of entertainment out of an already skeletal horse.

2220: Odious Sports Quiz
The regular panellists are joined by sporting guests who, now no longer able to perform the slight physical feats they once did they, answer questions on the same field.

2300: A repeat of the last two hours of television
For the convenience of those who didn’t see it and the infuriation of those who did.

0100: Aleister Crowley’s Big Impression
Ruby Wax, Sean Connery, George Bush and Tony Blair are just some of the celebrities Aleister Crowley does not impersonate as he attempts to raise the spirit of the deceased God Fairchild.

emTV: Streethop

1800: Gaudy my Motor transport
Celebrity music stereotype ‘Nstallation helps another motorist destroy the environment and colour their car tasteless. This week the team meet Lisa who wants a mezzanine installed in her VW camper.

1830: Back To Da Streets
Two aging men with loosening grasps on youth culture take an inexplicable and badly spoken journey into the streets, but with their ever diminishing understanding of modern vernacular they end up just wandering around some roads.

1900: Hot picks
Bump and grind to a stream of chart hits procedurally generated by the URBANTOR supercomputer in Leipzig. Also why not text along your pointless opinions and statements so they can be displayed like some kind of syntactic freakshow.

1950: Random marketing stream
Want ringtones which annoy the young and old in equal measure? Want to demonstrate your loathsome taste for mediocre comedy in public? Have very little is any resistance to latent marketing and peer pressure?

2000: emTV Domiciles
The subparly decorated homes of the rich and famous. Swimming pools in the shape of assault rifles, hot tubs on the ceiling and walk in freezers full of dead prostitutes.

2100: Build up to a premise
12 people of either gender prepare to engage in some kind of activity but first must be slowly and arduously whittled down. See the spats, double dealing and full range of emotions and they BUILD UP TO A PREMISE!

2200: MC Dizzle’s Female Exploitation Masterclass
Rapper and gender sociologist MC Dizzle takes us on a journey through the history of consensual female exploitation, both figuratively and literally in his tree powered bullet-proof death wagon.

2300: My Sweet Bastard child
Some camera crews take a look into the homes of the most financially spoilt womb shits to ever grace the lengths of time.